Tree of Savior Forum

Social stress makes me write this

I dont think so, it dont appear any message, i press it and it simple dont work.

Who are you to talk about morale after what you write? Seriously? Now i ask you, who in the true of all these events is the one who want attention here?

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First of all i don’t care for the morale high ground. Second don’t throw a stone and expect none to come back your way. That is all.

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Don’t mind him,he’s like that in all of the threads and I’m really not sure why that is.He posts in a social forum,yet acts mean and distant constantly.I don’t know if it’s because he thinks it’s cool,but it’s really not.Maybe he needs a hug?

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Right back at you, like i said, you could just ignore this thread and keep your life worries-free, but instead you came here full aware that your comment would generate some come back to you, now deal with it and keep moving, seriously, i dont know what is wrong with people like you, come and go claiming this and that and have the nerve of talk about the bible in the end, tell me what church you go so i can avoid w/e God you people worship there because it clearly teach you people to not be generous or at least listen to other problems, even if you cant do a thing.

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I never expected not to be met with opposition from the OP, you people however just started throwing stones for the sake of throwing stones.

You people just absolutely love throwing around assumptions, you just wish I’m the person you think I am, because it’s so much easier than actually trying to know me, too much work for unforeseen results right?

lol okay your the victim here. <-- sarcasm

Anyway you can leave now thanks bye.

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@Melon Thats a good idea.

Wasn’t there an game where you had to hug others an bear? Googles Oh yeah.

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I don’t think that’s true though. You don’t strike me as self-confident, but I may be wrong and it’s just your depression getting the upper hand. I still think you need to work on your physical health.

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Well, it is hard to show self-confidence in text form. It isn’t high by any stretch, but i have certainly improved over the years. My physical health
 i have many things that need attention, but i have to to cut them all off to focus on the main tasks. You are however right.

Here are some infos that might interest you (and perhaps others too):

  • Work is infinitely less important than life and the will to keep improving upon oneself. Someone that tells you they are more worth than you because they earn more than you or because you don’t earn anything only testifies that they have neither an idea about what life or wealth is about.

  • Pro-tip: OHD. One Hour a Day. Imagine something you want to aim for. It can be anything. A specific job, an improvement on your health and body, social contacts or anything else.
    Take 1 hour a day and do something productive that gets you closer towards the goal. Every day. You will have reached the goal in no time.
    You may be thinking to yourself that it’s going to take years upon years - way too long - to achieve anything effectively this way. But it’s like in games, really.
    When you have no experience in something, the experience gain is higher than that of someone who is at a much higher level than you. Your results the first few years you will move towards your goal like this will be very noticable.

  • About mobbing: mobbing is something very situational. Shaming tactics being one of the most popular ones these days.
    mobbing is a psychological tactic before anything else. Someone may inflict physical harm on you, verbally abuse you or similar but that’s not mobbing as a one-time occurence. Mobbing means to actively and aggressively pursue to psychologically aim for the exclusion
    of someone from a group. No matter if you had been part of that group before or not. The goal of the mobbing action is to keep you excluded.
    That is also the reason why the term itself is finding ridicule amongst a lot of people, because - in a sense - everyone is subjected to being “mobbed”. And someone may very well be at both the receiving and dealing end of a mobbing chain at the same time.
    There are 2 keys to break out from a mobbing scenario.
    One is to find the norm of how you are expected to act by the mobbers and then play the actor and act the role you are expected to. It’s the best option for pacifists.
    The second one is to realize that people are individual entities before anything else. That means you may easily exclude the mobbers from the group that they try to exclude you from. You can do so by showing parts of the group that you are more fitting to be considered part of whatever is accepted within the mentality of that group than the mobbers.

  • About social ability. You already realized that it is something that can be trained. An antisocial person would think of social competencies as something complex that takes a lot of time to get the hang of and even then you would think that you wouldn’t understand the intricacies of it. That’s just a distorted picture that’s being kept alive by ignorant people.
    Every person that works in a job requiring social abilities with a status of a certain degree - even if it’s just a department head or the manager of a branch - will tell you the exact same thing that I can tell you: Social skills are the most natural skills for a human to adopt, because it’s already part of what makes you human. Even if you are antisocial at one point, all you need to do is to learn simple formalities and then train them a few times by applying them.

  • “employment agencies” are a hoax. They don’t really serve any purpose.
    I don’t find it to be a claim that is too far off when I say that something like employment agencies don’t even exist.
    They are ideas that are badly put into practice, how they work is outdated and the use they are supposed to have - implied by their name - is not there.
    What they are in reality, are institutions that abuse traits like naivity, low self-esteem and procrastination combined with missing initiative to use the people that come to them for workplaces where they are being taken advantage of. I would advise to avoid such places altogether. If you just seek day-worker jobs, just go up to any place where you might be interested to work at or where you think they could need a hand and ask them if they need help there for pay.
    Germany is quite the curious place, to formulate it mildly. You will find a lot of people that would love to hire someone where they don’t have to deal with paperwork, taxes and stuff


Also out of plain curiousity: Allgemeine Fachhochschulreife oder die von der 12ten? Bin mit dem selben Abschluss an die UniversitÀt. Gymnasiasten sind i.d.R. im Vergleich ziemlich arrogante und imkompetente Leute.

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@kill5link I know that work doesn’t mean much. While my father has an diploma in plastics engineering, he engaged to much into his work and neglected me and my mother.

While im quite introverted, i was much worse in the past. Really, i did not waste a single day improving myself, even though my parents would not believe that.

Luckily, mobbing is in the past. Still, it left an imprint on me that is hard to get rid of.

Ehm, i meant the “Arbeitsagentur” maybe “employment agency” was not the right word after all. And yes, i realise that they are not unproblematic, but i don’t know who else i can turn towards !

Und falls du es genauer wissen möchtest, FOS Schwandorf. Somit, 11. und 12. Klasse. Die mittlerer Reife habe ich in Pfreimd durchgefĂŒhrt, in Rahmen eines M-Zuges.

So did you have abusive parents?

Being in exactly the same position like you some time ago, I can give you 1 piece of advise.

Take everything 1 step at a time. When you succeed take your time to understand what you just did.
At one point in time I were a shutin, I felt uncomfortable even to go to a shop. I would get panic attacks when I did.
So I started working on it , step by step without rushing. Giving myself praise for everything I did right.

Now I’m back at college after dropping out 10 yrs ago getting things done.

I worked for it a full year.
Having a goal in mind
 that is , having no feelings. No panicking ,no fear , but I don’t get much joy out of things either in result of that.
Which isn’t bad really ,all I every wanted was just
 peace of mind.

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Those are precisely the people whom I was talking about. They should rename those institution to something less misleading, like:
“job circus” or “agency for unwanted jobs”. Something along those lines.
xd

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Hello, speaking as that of someone who is only 20 years of age, I realize I lack wisdom but I figured I would throw in my two cents about this as well.Especially considering many of the problems that you mentioned before hand struck pretty close to home with me.

I am by far the most introverted person I know and I struggle daily with depression, insomnia, and social anxiety. Which I think is what you are referring to by your social skills correct? At least it seems to me that this stress that you are experiencing is coming from your inability to properly interact as a “normal” person, which then in turn leads to rejection and isolation, yes? Anyways, I thought I might give you a few tips or a few ideas that could possibly help you with your goal on improving those social skills.

One thing I started doing was practicing small interactions with people on my own terms, I felt like if I was the one starting the conversation I felt more at ease than if someone I’ve never met before were to come up and ask me a question, enabling that panicky over analytical process that is all too common with people that have signs of Social Anxiety. I know what you are thinking, because I would be thinking the same thing on the other side of the glass, its not that easy you cant just walk up to someone and start talking to them, and you are probably right. So, my way around that was to go to the grocery store and practice simple interactions, saying excuse me to move past someone, saying go ahead, hello, etc. The purpose of this isn’t to practice your hellos and your manners, but to establish a base of self confidence in yourself and your ability to talk to people. Even just stepping away from the computer for a day and getting out to a park just to absorb the interactions and people around you may help. I believe its called People watching and it may also be worth a go. Also, if you want to practice without the face to face aspect of it, perhaps you could start integrating voice chat into your gaming, slowly and I’d recommend starting with a laid back game(ToS).

My final tip is more of my wish for you I suppose. It makes me feel uneasy to read about people that have had to suffer from the entanglements of their own minds like I did. The last paragraph you posted about the whining and children soldiers, all of that, it reminds me of how I feel sometimes, you want help but it seems like a trivial matter in the scheme of things. Should you not be happy because someone else is always going to be happier than you? Should you give up on the world around you because it gave you speed bumps? It’s hard to be motivated in a bleak situation that you seem to have on your hands. Just remember there are plenty of people that made it over this same hill that you are. I like to believe these people are like me and will extend their hands to you, all you have to do is find them(or read comments). I wish you the best of luck to you on your job search and on finding the path only you can walk.

@kill5link I had just finished writing this and you reminded me of a very valuable piece of advice I should include. One thing you also should be aware of is that you won’t find the answer to your problem by thinking, or searching for answers. In the reality of the human mind the only thing an answer will do is invoke more questions.

@rhedewayhke You are simply trying to make this about yourself. its self centered and unwanted. also the saying is casting stones, not throwing. If you want to be useful, ask engaging questions instead of sticking thorns in sides.

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Nig-gah, shiet happens. Remember the basics: Survival is priority, everything else is a fancy luxury.

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Muten Roshi has spoken.

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Hey guess what jack off, it’s started being about me when people personally called me out, it stopped being about me when people stopped personally calling me out, now you’re starting it back up, come on, it’s not hard to realize that it’s you making it about me.

I mean all I’m doing is trying to talk to the OP and some people just love having a go at me, so no, screw you, stop making it about me.

Like I said, ask engaging questions. No need to prod.