Tree of Savior Forum

The Parting of the Ways (Flash fic)

I just scribbled 400 words long flash fic featuring Inesa Hamondale the Lord of Orsha.
I always liked the theme of a queen or an empress.

I hope at least some of you might find it not-that-appalling.

And a sidenote, English is not my first language, so please excuse the grammar mistakes and misspellings.

Ah geez, it is very embarrassing.

“Our fellowship ends here, I am afraid.” Said the girl, stopping abruptly looking at the strange glowing gate.
“But Inesa…” The man protested. “You have a way out now. Come with me. The world that I came from is a vastly different one from your one.”
“As much as Inesa wants to free herself of Hamondale, I am fully aware of the consequence which will befall upon my people. Before I took this crown, I only looked at its beauty and magnificence. When the weight of this crown, though light on my head, crushed my heart, scared my soul and paralyzed my body. The moments we have shared thus far are to be for ever cherished for those who came before me never had this chance to live the life outside and felt the excitement and freedom I have experienced with you…” She thought for a moment and continued. “Or perhaps, for ever to be cursed. For now, I know how sweet its taste really is and am forbidden to again taste it.” She turned away to avoid his gaze.
“You do not have to go back. You never chose the crown. It thrust upon you. Where I came from, there is no such arbitrariness. The only thing that matters is your choice and your will.” The man pleaded, almost on the verge of begging. One could clearly hear the desperation in his voice, albeit he tried his best to conceal it. For once, in his dishonest life, could not fake it.
“You once said to me, my life is that of a slave. I refuted it then, but at this moment, I admit it. I am a slave… a willing one, to be precise. I may not have chosen what I am but I have embraced my role and all the duties it entails.”
“For what purpose?” Her stern refusal broke his heart for he knew deep inside what she meant was true.
“I am a willing slave so that none becomes an unwilling one.” She turned back to reveal her moisten eyes. It was a plea for him to torment her no further.
The man stood there in silence, as he watched her walk away in the most graceful manner he has ever seen.
One single drop of tear ran across her, though covered in dust, queenly face. She cherished it for it is the last tear she could ever shed.


Nice story. It’s not as embarrasing as many others I’ve written as writing exercises. I love the implication that the Lord Bishop was chosen at random, or by the Goddesses. Maybe. Reading this on mobile makes everything harder to understand.

Few things to note. Your point of view/pronoun change makes things confusing. The sudden shift to Inesa’s thoughts and her referring to herself in both first and third person, the quotation marks used for both speach and thought. These makes it a little hard to understand on first read.

applauds you on being the first to find out about the fanfic subforum and being brave enough to post first

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