To those whom may have given much but receive ashes in return…
It’s insane that i’ve been sitting here contemplating this post for a few days now. Never once did I think that I would be the one writing out a warning like this, crazy. Today I uninstalled all of my gacha games. All my main games were connected to an email account to which I had my girlfriend change the password. We did the same with my Apple account. It’s been really difficult to put this into words. Its been quite an eventful week, and i’m just really tired. Wanting to share a story, and a warning to everyone. Enjoy the last 2 years of my foolish choices.
Man,
Let me just start by saying; It’s been a hell of a 2 years being a part of this sub on my main reddit profile. Everyone here has been incredible, hype train riders, game shitters, mass downvoters, etc. It was a hilarious culture of yelling at the weird kids that would post “Gacha life” animations. Great times.
I digress, I’m just at a point with Gacha gaming where I can no longer control myself missing out on something. Whenever something new is released, there is an instinct in me that just wants it. I cannot handle that anymore. If you are F2P4L, i am very proud of who you are as a person, I however cannot control myself and am unable to be F2P in any environment in any game. I applaud your self control, seriously.
So about 3 years ago, I left my home state, got a new job, and distracted myself heavily with the game ‘kings raid’. Played it, never spent on it, had fun, etc. Farmed a lot, literally had a laptop that only ran kings raid for days on end. Eventually, i think I spent maybe $24 total on the game, but nothing significant before I quit.
About 2 years ago, I downloaded Epic Seven when I had read about a PVP/PVE game similar to summoners war release. I was hooked. I laughed at some of the prices for some of the packs they were offering. After a few months, epic seven became “login, do arena, do basic missions, raise fodder, gear farm, logout”. I started to rise up in E7 because of some luck rolls, become amongst the highest ranks of players, so i started buying Molagora packs for the extra advantage.
After a while, E7 became what I would end up losing sleep over, before E7 had auto repeat. My work was already started to be effected even 2 months in, when I would have E7 running in my pocket fodder farming. While I was on my computer, epic seven was on an emulator sitting behind my main project. I had no self control, and constantly had to be evolving something, leveling, no wasting time, etc. It cut into my personal life, my health, my relationship. This game had swallowed me. it was becoming my everything, and I felt that… and I liked it. I was always looking for something I could play for long periods of time, see my payoff, and compete in PVP. It was my dream game. It set a high bar for what I expected any sort of game to be in the future.
Soon after, i started looking for new gachas… I played everything that released since Late 2019… Seven deadly sins came out with a Gacha, and I was HOOKED on that. I spent so much money on the game since I was top 50 on Arena on Week 2. Spent $600 on launch day, and didn’t even think about it. Until later, when I dropped the game in 6 months realizing I put a lot of money into something I was never going to play again, and never did. Same with EXOS, easilly dropped $600 again week one since i was in love, hit top 200 arena, and saw the rewards come pouring in. What a great dopomine rush, I was GOOD AT SOMETHING! (Or so i thought!) I played until the first major fiasco, and peaced out. i could sit here and write all my experiences with games, but to really drive the point I played a lot of Gacha games. This is the list of uninstalled games I have in roughly a year…
JP: World Flipper, PGR, WOTV, GBF, Nier, a few other games idk, Dokkan
GL: E7, AE, DL, Crash Fever, Marvel Strike Force, Evertale, Teppen, Mirage Memorial, Last Cloudia (Spend heavily until randy, then fell off), Crossing Void, Dokkan. Grand Summoners, RWBY Area, PAD, FGO, Magia Record, Langrisser, KHGX, Sdorica, Gem Of War, DFFOO, FEH, TAC, Fantasy War Tactics R, Brave Nine, 7DS, ONE PIECE BON BON, WOTV, Summoners War, BladeXLord, Pokemon go, EXOS, Onmyoji, RAID, Destiny Child, AL, Romancing Saga, Sinoalice, Tales of Crestoria, AFK Arena, One Piece Treasure Cruise, Kingdom of Heros: Tactics War, Idola Phantasy Star Saga, Genshin, Honkai, Illusion Connect, Goddess of Genesis, Shining Beyond, Girls Frontline, pricess connect, disgea RPG, Bang Dream!, Smash Legends, Summoners War: Lost Centuria. That’s all of the “major” gachas i’ve installed. A good majority of that list, I did spend on at some point…
I played honestly almost everything that came out. Whatever stuck with me. I spent money on, I always justified it to myself somehow. “Oh it’s not that bad, you got paid x extra and can afford this, etc” It was weird to watch myself become so weak to the thought of absolutely NEEDING something in a mobile game. Only to quit 3-4 weeks later.
But it wasn’t until I played War of the Visions, that I started to spend a ton on Gacha. Then came genshin, then i got hooked on Honkai. Etc… I was out of control with my spending, but not to the point where it was dangerous to me, just to where i was surviving with a bit of extra spending money… It very easily could have become an issue by the end of the year, had I not stopped this now… War of the visions was absolutely draining, I was caught up with EVERY SINGLE UNIT SINCE LAUNCH until roughly 5 days ago, when I quit. I sunk more into that game than I ever care to admit. If I actually had to guestimate for laughs… I’d say roughly $8-10k had been spent in over a year.
I distinctly remember during FFT collab 1, I was sitting in my dentist office spending a ridiculous amount trying to get Cid. Kept thinking “Oh this is on sale, its a good deal!” etc. Classic justification to any spending what so ever. Similar experience with WOL too, i woke up at reset just to sit on my toilet and spend hundreds on a character i’d likely never use again.
It All started really small, i started seeing really similar stories get posted in this subreddit, of people getting to the point I am sitting at now. I remember thinking “We’ll i haven’t spent that much. Can’t hurt”. I’ve seen so many people go through the same cycle I just did. I watched so many people in the shoes of those who will leave comments telling me I’m “too weak” for gacha games, or they aren’t meant for people like me. Sometime, someday, you could see yourself typing this exact same thing, or thinking about this… It all starts small. It all adds up fast. I became aware of this when i didn’t clear some notifications from my phone and saw “APPLE $72.92” & “APPLE $91.92” and a lots that I had forgot to clear while I was trying to get a character on honkai.
It became ABUNDANT how much I was spending at that moment. I had just cleared the WOTV shop… I cleared the honkai shop… i cleared the E7 monthly shop. I just justified everything, somehow taking priority over my life. I stood there and pat myself on the back after buying all of that, saying “Yeah, you’re doing good!”. I’m nowhere near my bottom, i just saw the hole forming underneath me slowly.
My life was “wake up, grind this, grind that, do this do that.” even on days I had to work. I found myself taking time to just pick up my phone and do just ONE MORE THING! Farm that last item… etc. That had been my life for almost a year and a half. I was so tired, and just couldn’t be bothered anymore. The hole grew a little wider everyday
So with different eyes, i looked at how much i spent last year in total on Gacha gaming, and i’m pretty ashamed of myself, my choices, and my unwillingness to let something pass me by that plays no significance in my life. I started to reflect earlier last week when my girlfriend saw one of my apple purchases in my Gmail, and asked me simply to my face “What do you even get out of this?”
I thought about that. For a long time. I uninstalled genshin, honkai, epic seven, disgea RPG, princess connect, kings raid, FFBE, WOTV, Granblue Fantasy, FGO, and anything else on my phone.
For an idea of what I deleted. Sold my AR55 genshin account with every 5* at C3, Lvl 85 Honkai with 4/4 and all char, E7 only missing 5 characters total, Disgea had every unit released, FFBE had tons of NV3, WOTV had 46 TMR characters, and every single UR except Christmas Mash, Granblue was Level 250 with almost every character. FGO i just straight up deleted, had been playing as long as E7.
I don’t know why, but I just hit delete. Put all my accounts for sale, and changed the password to those that were hard locked.
That’s a lot of games, i know… and I was spending on damn near everyone of them… I was ashamed. I haven’t once looked back about logging in, missing out, etc. It’s been such a time sink, and so fun if you stay casual or F2P. I regret a lot of my purchases, and i really just needed to be done with Gacha games for good. They’re no good for me. If you feel like you’re falling into the same path i did. Mess up your account. Sell all your gear or delete all your high rarity characters. Theres nothing for you here if your life becomes the game you play. It isn’t worth it. I don’t have any games on my phone, and plan on keeping it that way for a long time.
I realized I wasn’t having fun last November. It sucks to see yourself feel this way for months, and turn right back around and swipe your credit card whenever something new and shiny is released. It was really really awful feeling like i was a slave to reset timers and farming. Two years of my life seemed to revolve around these games. It’s been so crazy watching my bank account suffer too, working on paying down a few credit cards set me back a few months, but luckily I found my way out of this habit.
I think i’ll stick to rougelike games in the future.
I knew I was in deep, and it started so subtly. Laying awake at night, so happy i got that next mat to evolve my hero to 6* transcendence. Only 3 more stages until I do this, do that, etc. It all starts small. It’s been insanely hard to stay away from these games. I’ve unfollowed everything on my main account. All reddits, all youtubers who enable or hype these games, twitch streamers, google catche, etc.
I just cannot be around it, I cannot be reminded of it. I am missing nothing, and what I am missing serves no real purpose to my real life. Playing these games F2P and casually is fine, if you can manage that, AWESOME! please just don’t be like me.
Thanks for listening everyone, I wish all of you luck in the future of your Gacha gaming. May the shaft stay far far away.
