The English script is much cleaner and better than it was during the last beta test; great job! ^^ Here are a smattering of sentences I caught with either small mistakes or awkward wording.
Knight Titas:
“But first, I have an earnest errand I’d like you to attend to.”
Most native speakers would not use the word “earnest” here. I suggest changing it to “important” or “urgent.”
As a side note, ending a sentence with a preposition is grammatically incorrect, but doing so is perfectly acceptable in colloquial speech, especially when rewriting the sentence would make it more awkward.
Knight Titas:
“If you don’t want to, you may just go ahead to Klaipeda.”
This is grammatically correct, but would read better as, “If you don’t want to, you may simply continue onward to Klaipeda.”
Klaipeda Resident:
“The Goddesses have been gone for a long time after all.”
Add a comma so that it reads, “The Goddesses have been gone for a long time, after all.”
Klaipeda Resident:
“Isn’t it true that the Goddesses haven’t been responding to our prayers ever since Medzio Diena four years ago?”
This should be “every,” but “ever” can be considered acceptable for colloquial speech.
System Message:
“You have not activated any other Goddess Statue, so you cant teleport yet.”
The word “can’t” is missing an apostrophe.
Hoplite Master:
“Many people should realize that Medzio Diena was only the start of the disaster.”
This is grammatically correct, but the meaning would be clearer if it were rewritten a bit. “People need to realize that Medzio Diena was only the beginning of this disaster.”
Sculptor Tesla:
“A forest far away from the capital such as this one is also starting to soak its way into the evil energy.”
This sentence is grammatically correct, but sounds very awkward. It would sound better as something like, “Even a forest far from the capital like this one is beginning to absorb the evil energy.”
Sentinel:
“But there seem to be too many of them.”
The word “many” is always treated as a plural noun, so this should be, “But there seems to be too many of them.”
Scout:
“Go back quickly while you still can, Kepas will overrun this position soon.”
Two independent clauses can’t be joined by a comma; this is a type of mistake known as a comma splice. Either replace the comma with a period or add a word to make the second clause subordinate: “Go back quickly while you still can, because Kepas will overrun this position.”
Scout:
“When you level up, you can increase a status of your choice and become stronger.”
The word “status” is not commonly used in this context. I would suggest changing it to another word such as “attribute.”
Warning:
It is hard to fight them when they come in flocks so be careful."
A comma is needed here, so that it reads, “It is hard to fight them when they come in flocks, so be careful.”
Bulletin Board:
“They are an abnormality that began to appear after Medzio Diena. But rest assured, because the research results have shown it’s perfectly safe.”
The second sentence here is a little awkward and changes the subject from plural “they” to singular “it.” It would read better as, “But rest assured, research has shown they’re perfectly safe.”
Search Scout:
“Usually, you can’t find them no matter how hard you try. Strange huh?”
There needs to be a comma in the second sentence so that it reads, “Strange, huh?”
Warning:
“Wearing goggles is useless against Large Kepa.”
This is a perfect spot for a particular joke, so I suggest changing it to, “The goggles do nothing against Large Kepa!”
Search Scout:
“It was just as I thought, right? It was this instinct that kept me alive during Medzio Diena.”
The meaning would be a bit clearer if it were written as, “That’s the kind of instinct that kept me alive during Medzio Diena.”
Battle Commander:
“It’s been too long, my men should’ve come back, but I haven’t heard anything from them yet.”
This is another comma splice, so I suggest changing it to something like, “It’s been far too long. My men should’ve returned by now, but I haven’t heard anything from them yet.”
Battle Commander:
“The Golem may appear anytime and yet they are so carefree.”
The meaning would be clearer if it were worded like, “A Golem could ambush them any minute now, yet they’re still so carefree.”
Bulletin Board:
“P.S. It is better to run away than to pray to the Goddess in case you encounter Golems.”
This would sound better if written as, “If you run into a Golem, it’s better to run away than pray to the Goddesses.”
Battle Commander:
“I heard the news from my men and I was starting to become worried. With how messed up the world is, if that ended well, all is well.”
I’m not 100% sure about the exact meaning intended in the first line, but the second line is mangling the phrase, “All’s well that ends well.” These lines would sound better as, "I was getting worried when I heard the news from my men. “With how messed up the world is, all’s well that ends well.”
Scout:
“There is no way to tell what is going to become of this world now that the Goddesses have left, so we have to steadily put effort into things ourselves.”
This is grammatically correct but the second half of the sentence is awkwardly phrased. I would suggest something like, “so we have to help ourselves now.”
Klaipeda Girl:
“There are many people who want to buy things but it’s not easy to get what they want. We have enough food supplies for now but it won’t last long.”
There are some missing commas here, and it should read, “There are many people who want to buy things, but it’s not easy to get what they want. We have enough food supplies for now, but it won’t last long.”
