So what would be everyone’s life if real life was like ToS? I’ve been thinking about it and i found it kind of hilarious in many ways so i’ve decided to write a post about it.
DISCLAIMER: this post is supposed to be sort of a JOKE! It’s not a complaint post.
Let’s go trough the life of “john”, in a world where everything is like our normal life BUT ToS rules are a fact.
"Today i woke up, as usual all my family members were sleeping in the beds near mine… i wake up my brother because it’s time for him to go and open up shop in the market while i need to go working, everyone else just stay home and sleep because it’s commonly known that no more than 1 or 2 people can leave the house at the same time.
All my collagues at work were doing very well and, by cooperating with them, i managed to do all the chores i had to do today… it was awesome! When we finished everything my friend Karl said that he was going to buy a cake to celebrate a succesfull day and everyone was excited.
_He came back and showed us the cake… uh i’ve never seen something that looked so delicious in my life! _
But when i tried to take a piece of it a thunder struck my hand from the sky and the voice of god echoed in the room saying “you unbeliever that didn’t make an offering to me will not be allowed a piece of the cake!” so i just decided to sit down and, while feeling sad, i watched as Karl shared his cake with Andrew, that obviously had made his offering to God.
As usual tho as soon as the piece of the cake passed from Karl to Andrew’s hands… it started to rot and smell bad… so Andrew after trying to eat it a little bit had to trow it away.
Leaving the office i decided to check on my brother to know how well he’s working day in the market was and he said he managed to sell all the items he had in store.
“AWESOME!” i answered “How much did you earn?”
“Very little” My brother said “Opening the shop up used all the earnings i made yesterday, people were not buying because my prices were too high so i had to lower them… and well, the policemen came by and took away 50% of my profits… you know that’s the law”
“Oh i see…” I replied “well at least you got something… can you pass me some of your money so i can buy dinner for everyone?”
“You already know i can’t!” my brother said “God will strike down everyone that passes anything to his own family member”!
So i decided to go and check on the stores on my own… and i had to go for the cheapers food i could find with my poor earnings.
When i arrived home i was reunited with my other two siblings: they ran at me hugging me and asking “big brother, big brother! Did you bring us dinner?”
“no” i replied “you know how it works… it’s prohibited to give anything to your siblings if you don’t make an offering to god first!”
“But big brother we’re angry!” they replied…
So i went to the church… and used my last hard earnings to make an offer to god, then i went to check the shops once again and i managed to find two pieces of bread for my siblings.
So i went home and i gave one bread to 1 of my brothers… and just when i was giving the second one to the other one a thunder came down from the sky hitting me and leaving me on the floor, overwhelmed by pain.
Then God’s voice was heard: “and thou shall never pass more than one item at a time to your family… that’s the word of God”."
