Ok It’s 6a.m. go grab a cup of coffee, sit down, relax and enjoy the reading pal. This is the history of my life.
2016-07-04
I was a peaceful cheerful young Level 69 Priest wandering around in Klaipedia main quest line and ready to make my steps back to Orsha path. I had just finished Akmens Ridge and rushed in Tiltas Valley, both Level 67 and 69 maps, respectively. I was doing my quests as usual, chilling, taking my time, no worries. You know, don’t think twice it’s alright.
Those were good times.
My job on those maps was done quick. I packed my stuff and was ready to went back to Orshas’ quest line. I went out and started at Pelke Shrine Ruins, a level 65 map that I’ve left before. A really nice place with nice people (in danger). Did my quests, helped those poor guys. For what I’ve read I would still get 100% experience from mobs 5 levels away from me, so it was cool, right? Therefore I did everything as usual, got some items, grinded some mobs, downed some boss for tha peeps and stuff.
It was all alright. That’s when I notice something bad:
My experience bar wasn’t moving.
At first I thought “Sh*t, I accidentally broke the game, I’m sorry”. But them I noticed it shouldn’t be that big deal. So I kept moving, “Who needed exp points anyway”. After finishing the map I quickly got to Absent Reservoir, a not that big Level 68 map. A lot of water there and stuff. Not much to do. I did all my quests and something new happened: I fall in love with some brand-new dude, a small fellow named Blue Slime. They were awesome. So I started killing them, off-course. (Are those what you guys call Poring? I got confused you know)
My experience bar wasn’t moving.
I remembered an earlier conversation with a friend, he was telling me to always keep checking my Adventure Journal or something. KY10S2V-D34 (my friends name) was all like: “LOLz DUDE OWAI Y NO CHECK JORNAL ADVENTURE ADVENTURE JOURNAL MA GO MA”. Ok man, I’ll check it. So I checked out my new pal Blue Slime out there in this new Adventure Journal thing. Look what I found out: If I killed 135 of these dudes I would be you know what?? Rewarded! Gonna get a prize for just murdering them all. Cool!
I had already killed 75 of those. I really liked them you know. If you have love, will travel. Spent some more time there, did some more butchering, and yo. Gotcha. Free card.
My experience bar had moved a little.
A really little, little.
Tiny.
Little.
All this stuff going on and I managed to get something like, what? 10% more experience points. “Yo”, I thought, “Two maps and I got 10%?! LULZ WAT”. I even had Premium Token active so I could get 30% more exp from monsters. I guess that wasn’t going well. This is nuts. I went up clearing 4 maps, questing and stuff, and was just a bit pass half my experience bar.
That was starting to piss me off. (But just a little, Ima cool guy)
I kept going on.
I soon reached some crazy place named Sienakal Graveyard (a level 70 map). A lady welcomed me with some killing quest. Everything was fine, I felt like I was in some kind of Diablo sh*t or something. Place was cool.
Nasty but cool.
Killed some guys who were fishing around, some flying plants or whatever. And guess what?
My experience bar wasn’t moving.
Kept walking around. Thus, I saw those little bugs and some very very (very) small green maggots that are actually grey (What brings me back on searching daltonic tests online, but that’s another history.) and got myself thinking: “Iurgh”.
Those things were awful and crawling all around the cave, falling from the roof. Even though they weren’t the nicest thing to see around I found out that they were giving me a FREAKING HELL LOT of experience points! WTF RIGHT?? Bugs and maggots?! Who would’ve guessed…
My experience bar was finally moving!
I spent hooooours bashing in 4 different maps. Hours doing quests. Got some murdering achievements. Explored whole maps. Went from zero to NO experience points. And now, all of a suddenly, with just a couple minutes of killing those small dudes I went up FREAKING INSANE 20% of my experience bar! I EVEN LEVELED TO FK&#@* SEVENTY. SEVENTY. (“seventy”, whispers) I"M SEVENTY NOW DUDES. SEVENTY.
The slaughter. It was unleashed.
I was a goddamn bloodthirsty bug maggot insatiable lunatic killer. I was cutting them like a butter and knife. My wife thought I was mad when I went out screaming “DIE DIE DIE MY BUGS”, around the house. “DONT UTTER A SINGLE WORD”, I bounced to every fly, coach-roach or little spider I found. Damn hell, I’m even thinking on pulling out manhole covers from the street sewers and start killing everything that pops out. This is a new step to the human race.
I was happy.
My things are all broken now. I have no gloves anymore and my hammer is full of green bug remains and goo. But things are starting to make sense. Even got a Yellow Gem. Long time no see one of those gem things dropping!
Now I’m on my way to Klaipedia, gonna train those 1% damage things on my class-man/teacher/shotokan trainer/jedi master dude and, as fast as possible, I’m moving to this new map I saw here: Carlyle’s Mausoleum. I don’t know who this Carlyle dude/sis were and what it did, but I’m motivated. I’m goddam ready to punch some faces. What a day, what a lovely day. It will be a good place. It will.
I hope there are a lot of bugs there.
for the slayer of maggots, the basher of bugs. Fight on, friend, fight on.