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Max SP is incorrectly shown. Not sure what causes this.
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What am I supposed to defeat? Text missing.
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This tombstone is definitely not a Royal Mausoleum. Possibly misplaced text.
Missing text.
THE FOLLOWING IS NOW GRAMMAR ISSUES
ORIGINAL TEXT - “While he was locked inside, he received the salvation of Ruklys and get out of the life of the slave. But, peaceful days didn’t last long.”
- “get out of” – incorrect tense
- “But, peaceful” – The word “but” is best used to connect sentences together, not start them.
PROPOSED FIX - “While he was locked inside, he received the salvation of Ruklys. His life as a slave was now over, but peaceful days weren’t going to last.”
Original text - “When Ruklys was defeated, his rest turned into a disaster.”
- I get that this is supposed to be a new paragraph, but it’s just one sentence! This is fine for heavy lines that are too short to feel the significance, but this line is a tautology! OF COURSE DYING IS A DISASTER! No freakin’ duh! This sentence needs to be completely reworded.
- This is a cause an effect sentence. Dying can lead to disasters, but the disaster here is referring to Ruklys himself. When you’re dead, nothing else can happen to you. Not even disasters. Once you’re dead, you can’t experience more disasters. The sentence could be changed so that the world feels the weight of Ruklys’ death. Nothing more can happen to Ruklys though.
- You could reverse the order of the events, for the simplest fix. Be sure to replace [blah blah blah] with the actual murderer.
Proposed fix - “His rest was soon met with disaster when [blah blah blah] attacked him. In his weakened state, Ruklys could barely fight back and met with an untimely demise.”
ORIGINAL TEXT - “Please look for the Revelator who just started their journies around Orsha and Klaipeda. When you this scroll to him, he will receive the blessing that is needed for the journey.”
- “look for the Revelator” – “the” is exclusive. It implies that there is a specific Revelator, when in reality, it can be any.
- “journies” is not a word. “Journey” is both singular and plural.
- “Orsha and Klaipeda.” – You only need one Revelator, so replace “and” with “or”
- “When you this scroll” – Looks like you are missing a word.
- “to him, he will” – Though grammatically correct, it is gender exclusive.
- “that is needed” – It is helpful, but not “needed”.
PROPOSED FIX - “Please look for a Revelator who just began their journey around Orsha or Klaipeda. Use this scroll on him or her. It will assist them in their travels.”
ORIGINAL TEXT - “It’s not like that I know everyone from the Anastospa… They belong to the same Order so I know them well.”
- First he’s saying he doesn’t know everyone, then he says that he knows them well. Which is it? I pieced together what he could have meant from the other dialogues, but since he’s one of the first npcs you meet with, it’s not something a new player would be able to follow.
- “not like that I know” – It looks like conversational filler was used, since “like” serves no purpose in this sentence. It further serves to make it harder to understand what this npc is saying.
PROPOSED FIX - "I’m not saying I know everyone from the Anastospa, but we used to be part of the same Order so I know them well.
ORIGINAL TEXT - “No way, bring him here at once! I will have to check it myself!”
- “check it myself” – “It” isn’t referring to anything here. “It” could have referred to something in an earlier passage, but if that were the case, you wouldn’t be able to use the word, “it,” anyways.
PROPOSED FIX - “No way! Bring him here at once! I’ll have to hear from him myself!”
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