My apologies, but due to a mistranslation it seems we will have to terminate you.
Please be assured that this in no way reflects our opinion of your value as a human being or an inofficial newsoutlet - we just cannot have people crying rapture every few days.
The hitmen are already on the way to your secret hype bunker and are instructed to make your imminent demise as short and painless as reasonably convenient.
Have a nice life!
Sincerely,
a failed comedian
